Mom called. I don't think she understands how much that tears me up inside. She doesnt call...she doesnt come see even though I live so close...she doesnt go to my track meets...doesnt care that I made semi's for lsmsa...and then outa the blue she just calls me up and pretends that nothings changed; pretends that she knows me.
I moved out to make her life easier. She loves my sister Chrystal and believes she'll get over her addictions. She figured if she ould be in a safe enviornment with her kids everything would change. She Chrystal her three kids and the man who melosted me all happily moved in. Chrystal and tobe always left for their drugs, and mom left to be away from her grand kids, so i was stuck with everytihng; helping them with their home work before I ever thought of doing mine, feeding all of them, cleaning, making sure they were all safe...and I just couldn't take it. Mom thought they would stay and watch their kids if they had their own room...so I left. Shee didn't seem to care. She's barely talked to me since. I've been through so much and given everything I could for her. I love you mom, can't you see that?
I feel like cutting...but apparently writing it out is better. I'm just SO mad. I don't know why I'm mad... I just want to scream. I took my anger out on the wrong person adn the tears wont stop. She doesn't want anytihng to do with me...she was calling to ask about food, because if she buys my food for at my brothers house (on food stamps which I'm listed under her for) dad would still give her child support. It wasn't even about me...she's never really called just about me. AAAHHHH! Why can't it just me about me? just this once. I give up... wrote a song... want it all to just stop.
Stay Strong
-brooke
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